I’ll pray for you!

            When someone asks you to pray for them what do you do?  As a pastor I get many requests from people wanting me to pray for them.  Usually they have a specific prayer in mind that they would have me to pray.  I’m not sure why, but there is a widespread misconception that the prayers of a pastor get ranked higher on the answer list than the average persons. 

            I just returned from spending two days on a personal prayer retreat.  This is something I do from time to time.  Usually when I realize that my life or the life of my church is overwhelmed and I think some time alone with God might right my ship.  After all, it never hurts to check in with the captain when you think the ship might be going down, or at least taking on water.  As usual, I gained some perspective from my time alone with Jesus.  Most of it is very personal and I do not wish to share that, but one thing was very freeing and enlightening that I wish to share with you. 

            As I started to pray I decided to list those people and things that I needed to pray about.  As I did so, I developed a process for praying for them that I have not used before and while it may or may not be original I think it is worth sharing.  As a matter of fact, I intend to use it as a process of praying for those who would ask me to pray for them. 

First, identify the person or thing needing prayer.  That would include requests from others and personal observations in your own life. 

Second, identify the need.  This is a little trickier.  It is not necessarily the same as the request from the individual.  They might ask for you to pray that they would find the right person to marry.  On reflection and in prayer, you might understand that you need to pray that they will find God’s will for them on the subject of marriage.  (They might be being called to be single, or they might need some character change that would make them more likely to get married, or they might need to look in a different direction for someone etc.)  Once you have identified what you believe to be the need, pray for that, not what they actually asked for.

Third, identify your part. This is a hard part for me.  I am a fixer, and so when someone tells me they have a problem of some kind I am inclined to immediately start trying to see what I can do to fix the problem.  This is usually not my part.  We need to pray to determine what our part might be relative to the need that we see God has for the person or issue.  As a pastor, often my greatest part is to simply listen and to try to understand a person’s hurt.  Sometimes it might be to council.  Sometimes it might be to organize others to help with the problem.  Always it must be based on what I believe to be God’s direction for me in prayer, not my first inclinations based on the problem. 

Fourth, identify God’s part.  Only God can do a miracle.  Only God can do most things quite frankly.  Often, the person needs to be convicted and redirected.  At times a prayer request simply identifies a person’s total lack of spiritual maturity.  They need to know that, but unless they are asking for council and direction, that is not my part.  Instead, I need to pray that God will convict them according to their spiritual need. 

Fifth, identify their part.  It may be that a change of lifestyle or activity is needed in the person’s life to solve their problem.  Identify what that is and be ready to say so when the opportunity presents itself.  That would be when they ask your council or opinion about what they should do, not when they ask you to pray. 

There is a huge difference between a request for prayer and a request for advice.  Do not mix the two up. 

For instance:

Someone might ask you to pray that they will have more money because they cannot pay the mortgage.  You may well know that they are mismanaging their money or they are fairly lazy.  How does that get fixed?  Do as they ask.  Pray.  But do it as I have identified above. 

You know the person.

Identify the need.  Then pray that need will be met.  You might find yourself praying that the person will be motivated. 

Identify your part.  It might go beyond the scope of the request.  God might convict you to help solve the problem, or pray a different way.  Whatever it is that you believe God is directing you to do, do it.

Identify God’s part.  Don’t interfere.

Identify their part.  Be prepared to share that with them if and when they ask for your council. 

That kind of praying frees you from the helplessness of not knowing how to fix a problem you can’t fix, and more importantly, focuses your prayer toward the need of the individual. 

I love being your pastor,

Russ